It was wine on the covers and a big smile, the one he was ashamed of, on his face.

The sheets covered his body and his chest went up and down as he was singing along to my favourite song.

I didn't want to tell him that it was my favourite, that would feel like I gave away too much, but somehow I think he knew.

He must have known by the way his voice turned up when he sang the words of my soul.

I closed my eyes and thought about all the things that I shouldn't,

and I thought to myself how easy it would be to fall for him and how I couldn't.

"You are zoning out again” he said as he was watching me with a need to understand me in his eyes. 

All I could do was smile as I hoped that he would start singing again. 

He started playing with my hair as we were talking about all the things that are real.

It made me scared at first, the fact that he made me feel so much.

I looked at him, 

never knowing what to expect from his gaze, he hit me with his words.

"You're the most beautiful person I've ever met".

I looked at him and asked him promise that he would never say that again.

He didn't respond but his fingers started making a braid of my hair and I had to laugh at the situation.

Here he was, braiding my hair in the same way he tried to fix me. I knew that he didn't understood why I didn't blush and mumble some lame "thank you" back like a normal person but I knew that it didn't bother him either. He believed with his entire heart that he could fix me, structure me up the same way as he braided my hair. But I knew I wouldn't let him. 

It would be easy, saying that thank you back, but I just didn't want to hear it. 

Somehow after laying in his arms, hearing him sing the words that was so dear to me I didn't want him to ruin it with a lie. He looked at me again, he must have seen that my eyes were wet making the most incoherent illustration alongside my smile. He laid his face next to me, whispering in my ear words so quiet I would have missed them if I didn't hold my breath.

 ”Can I tell you that you are the saddest person I've ever met instead?" He kissed my forehead and I knew.

I knew it would take a lot of effort and self-control to not fall like a leaf for him, right there and right then. 

And all I did was smile.